100 of the funniest things we have read on a CV: Part 3


Here are those bonus 50 CV bloopers! 'Remember that any spelling or grammatical mistakes have been left in intentionally.

I hope you enjoy reading them and Part 1 and the first 50 can be found'here.






101. 'ACHIEVEMENTS' - 'I was the very best at maths and reeding during primary school'

102. 'HOBBIES'' 'Stuffing Owls.'

103. 'DUTIES INCLUDED'' 'Pretending to be on the phone"

104. 'DATE OF BIRTH'' '26 Fab 196"

105. 'SKILLS'' 'I am a prooficient typest'

106. 'DUTIES INCLUDED - "I am responsible for information that I get off the sheets"

107. 'KEY ACHIEVEMENTS'- 'I am responsible for fraudulent claims."

108. 'DUTIES INCLUDED'' 'Resisting the desire to fold my arms. 'Resisting the desire to yawn. 'Resisting the desire to put either of my hands into either of my pockets'

109. 'WORK HISTORY'' 'I am a pubic relations officer'

110. 'WORK EXPERIENCE'' "My experience is horticulture is well rooted"

11. 'REFERENCES'' 'God"

112. 'WORK EXPERIENCE'' 'Dealing with customers conflicts that arouse'

113. 'EDUCATION'' "I have a bacholorette degree in computers"

114. 'REASON FOR LEAVING LAST JOB'-' 'The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia'. 'I prefer to elaborate privately'

115. 'DUTIES INCLUDED'' 'Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer emails, take odors''



116. 'PERSONAL PROFILE -''I never take anything for granite'

117. 'HOBBIES'-'''I coached a female football team in Surrey and it was the best sex years of my life'

118. 'PERSONAL PROFILE'- 'My work ethics are impeachable'

119. 'SKILLS'' 'I have nervous of steel'

120. 'HOBBIES -''Here for a good time, not a long time"

121. 'COVER LETTER'' 'I'm attacking my CV for your review'

122. 'REASONS FOR LEAVING LAST JOB'- "Maturity leave"

123. 'PERSONAL PROFILE'' 'I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing'

124. 'COVER LETTER'- 'My dream job would be as a professional footballer, but since that aint gunna happen I'll settle on working in c**p jobs for now'

125. 'EXPERIENCE'' "Provide excelent custer service"

126. 'EXPERIENCE'- "Resposiblities included checking customers out"

127. 'KEYS SKILLS'' "I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut"

128. 'JOB HISTORY'- "Experienced in all faucets of accounting"

129. 'HOBBIES'- "Mushroom hunting"

130. 'APPLICATION FORM'' "Q, in which areas do you prefer to work? 'A, Smoking"

131. 'REFERENCES -''Please do not contact my managaer at the company. 'My colleagues will give me a better reference'

132. 'HOBBIES'- "Avid collector of elephants (not full sized)"

133. 'REFERENCES ' 'Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative and slave drivers'

134. 'WORK EXPERIENCE'- "Revolved customer problems and inquiries"

135. 'SALARY EXPECTATIONS'- "The higher the better!!!!!"

136. 'JOB APPLICATION'- "Q, How large was the company you worked for? 'A, 4 floors"

137. 'EMAIL ADDRESS'- "Loopymutha@"

138. 'WORK EXPERIENCE -''Developed and recommended an annual operating expense fudget'

139. 'CAREER OBJECTIVE -''Long career on the supper highway'

140. 'CAREER BACKGROUND'' '28 dog years of work experience in HR (4 human)'


142. 'HOBBIES'''Regularly attend my local gym and regularly enjoy to go to my local swimming poo'

143. 'PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS'' "Got married as a Klingon"

144. 'EDUCATION -''Curses in Art, curses in Computers and curses in Italian'

145. 'REFERENCES'- "None, I've left a path of destruction behind me"

146. 'SKILLS ' 'My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable'

147. 'WORK EXPERIENCE'- "My job was to pervert unauthorised people from coming onto site"

148. 'NOTICE PERIOD'- "Minimum two (1) months"

149. 'COVER LETTER'' 'Enclosed is a ruff draft of my CV'

150. 'HOBBIES'' 'Cryptozoology'

Thanks for reading; I hope you found some of these'examples entertaining.' If you require any help with your CV, you can download our guide to supercharging your CV'here.' '

Find a further 50 funniest things we've read on a CV in part 2 -'here.